In many years of helping couples to improve their relationships I have found that even excellent communication from even one person can bring out the best in the other. However, if the other person is locked into rage and communicates aggressively, then the best efforts of an excellent communicator can be blocked. Both are now unable to manage their emotions, and at least one person will need to learn effective ways to minimize this destructive interchange.
Although people can learn to improve their relationships from reading self-help books, changing communication skills and behavior is often difficult and professional assistance can help you significantly.
As an example of a book that can help you learn communication I recommend David Burns, M.D., “Feeling Good Together”. For learning how to live with a person who might require additional skills from you, I suggest “Emotional Vampires” by Albert Bernstein, PhD. Reading these or other books might also help you get more out of working with a professional, should this be necessary.
I welcome your comments and questions.
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